Which Should You Pursue First, Success Or Happiness?
Enrolling in a life coach training institute, life coach taught me how to achieve happiness and success for myself. This article will tackle intensively topics of happiness and success as these two are the things that coaches will mostly deal with regardless of the specialization they are in. Which should you pursue first, success Or happiness?
Achieving our set goals makes us happy, yes, but then this doesn’t last. Once we reach that point of success, we now start to look for and think of the next goal that we want to pursue.
We go on this cycle of pursuing happiness through success but then soon enough you will get tired and find yourself looking for a sense of happiness within yourself.
This now brings us to the point where we realize that success does not always create happiness—but happiness can create success.
If so, then which do you really pursue first?
This Article Includes:
Theories of Happiness
Seven Principles of Happiness
‘Theories’ of Success
Predictors of Success
Happiness vs. Success
Which is more important?
You may find that happy people are prone to attract success with their positive attitude and enthusiasm.
If you really had to choose between pursuing a list of achievements that might make you happy to feeling happy and letting success come to you naturally, which do you think would be simpler in the end?
Knowing this, it’s also important to examine some things you can do to feel happy at the moment.
Theories of Happiness
Through a coaching certificate course, I learned about these different theories of happiness. According to Seligman and Royzman (2003), there are three traditional theories of happiness (Hedonism, Desire, and Objective list), on the later part is a fourth which is their theory of happiness (Authentic Happiness).
Hedonism Theory
Hedonism is the happiness theory that relates how happiness is truly all about “pleasurable experiences”. Seligman and Royzman, however, found a hole in this theory. They gave the following scenario as an example. Let’s say, there is a group of subjects that were to be asked at random moments of the day about how much they are in plain and pleasure at that moment. This information will be collected for a week and will be summed as an approximation of their total happiness for the week. The same people will then be asked about how happy they think their week was. As people look back on their week, most of the approximated happiness will greatly differ from the overall personal judgment of the subjects. The subjects will not remember the moment that they were asked: like how at that moment they experienced a terrible itch or a brief moment of embarrassment. Hedonism as a theory of happiness is therefore inaccurate if it is to be measured by other people. Happiness cannot be therefore summed up separately by someone because pleasurable moments are seen in retrospect as a whole experience and not by minute moments of it. On this view, the experiencer is always right and the judgment of an experimenter is disregarded. With this theory then, it should mean that if we wish someone with happiness, we refer to a whole life experience of satisfaction and pleasantness and not just individual moments of it. For example, even if two people always experience an everyday life full of pleasantness, it will differ if as a whole the other person was lead to a miserable old age and when the other person experienced comfortable senility.
Desire Theory
Desire theory sounds better than Hedonism. This theory looks at happiness as a state of getting what you want (Griffin, 1986)— the scope of that want is entirely up to the person who does the wanting. The desire theory overlaps with hedonism when the thing we want is “lots of pleasure and only a little pain. The only way that we can differentiate the two is by remembering that hedonism looks at happiness as the pursuit of pleasure over pain; e the desire theory looks at the fulfillment of desire as the way to happiness, regardless of experiencing pleasure or pain. An example is Wittgenstein who desired truth and illumination, and struggle and purity, pleasure is not on his list. By the desire theory of happiness, he can look back on his life as “wonderful” because he achieved more truth and illumination than most people, even though he experienced less pleasure and more pain than most people. As the Desire theory holds that happiness is defined by fulfillment of wants, regardless of having pleasurable experiences was then challenged by the thought experiment by Nozick (1974) called the “Experience Machine” which is described simply below. If you were given a chance to be hooked up to a machine that could give you all the pleasant experiences that you want and you will choose between living your whole life hooked up to it, and not being able to try the “machine”. Will you take up the one time opportunity to do anything, be anything you want, your whole life? If fulfilling wants is the way to happiness will people really sign up to be hooked on it? You can think of your answer before reading further. This thought experiment was one of the most interesting topics that was tackled during my life coach certification program. Nozick hypothesized that people will reject it because according to him: happiness requires pleasurable experiences that are “in contact with reality”. Thus, the Desire theory that says “happiness comes when wants are fulfilled” is tested because humans will prefer a pleasurable experience that is rooted in reality rather than an “illusion of brain chemistry”. There is an empirical study by Hinriks and Douven (2016) that supports this. The Desire criterion for happiness should then become a matter of fulfilling wants and how it is satisfied (whether in reality or virtual). And thus there is a need to limit the scope of the concept of “want”— the desire theory then should be about the achievement of happiness in the fulfillment of wants that are “truly worthwhile’. I can relate to this desire theory as I am on my journey to achieving that coaching certificate online. I do want to be a coach but I don’t want to practice the profession online, I want to practice in a real setting with physical interactions and people dynamics.
Objective List Theory
Objective List theory (Nussbaum, 1992; Sen, 1985) is somehow connected to the suggested improvement for the Desire Theory of Happiness. This theory holds that happiness is not a feeling but rather a list of “truly valuable” things in the real world. This theory contends that we find happiness when we achieve certain things from a list of worthwhile pursuits: like career accomplishments, friendship, freedom from disease and pain, material comforts, civic spirit, beauty, education, love, knowledge, and good conscience. Let’s take a look at this scenario. Think about the homeless and or abandoned children and people in the streets. They might live their lives trying to make ends meet and find something to patch up their momentary needs from day to day, they might rove in groups, engage in casual sex, and have little, sometimes even no regard about tomorrow. The above scenario’s kind of living can be classified as “subjectively” happy according to hedonism and the desire theory as they get to have pleasures and they can fulfill their wants. But in this third theory of happiness, we cannot say in any way that they are happy because they are deprived of many or most things that would go on anybody’s list of what is worthwhile in life. This theory however takes into account feelings and desires as a big part of how happy we judge life is.
Authentic Happiness
Taking into account the three theories of happiness they define three kinds of happiness: the Pleasant Life (pleasures), The Good Life (engagement), and the Meaningful Life. The first two are subjective, but the third is at least partly objective and lodges in belonging to and serving what is larger and more worthwhile than just the self’s pleasures and desires. The following quotes Sirgy and Wu (2007) about their take on Seligman’s Authentic Happiness “…we maintain that balance in life contributes significantly to subjective well-being. Balance contributes to subjective well-being because of the satisfaction limit that people can derive from a single life domain. People have to be involved in multiple domains to satisfy the full spectrum of human development needs. Different life domains tend to focus on different human developmental needs. More specifically, balance contributes to subjective well-being because subjective well-being can only be attained when both survival and growth needs are met. High levels of subjective well-being cannot be attained with the satisfaction of basic needs or growth needs alone. Both needs have to be met to induce subjective well-being.”
Seven Principles of Happiness
Shawn Achor wrote 7 principles of happiness in his book The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work. Below is a summary of each.
1. The Happiness Advantage
This principle teaches about how prioritizing positivity improves performance and productivity. Therefore the old notion that we become happy because of success can be turned the other way around— that we can achieve success through being happy first.
The happier we are, the more apt we are to bigger success and higher achievement. Happiness implies a positive mood in the present and a positive outlook for the future. We can achieve that by putting a focus on what we have rather than what we do not have. In terms of sacrifice, what we are getting rather than what we are giving up. That will give us the creativity to turn what we do have into whatever we want.
2. The Fulcrum and the Lever
“How we experience the world and our ability to succeed within it, constantly changes based on our mindset.” We can think of it as a seesaw with ends being weighed down by loads of different heaviness. The point is to find balance.
As you can’t do anything about the loaded weights on each end, the only thing that you can do now is to move the fulcrum (the middle support) away from the center to help it level-out.
Achor explains that our minds can work the same way. If we can shift our mindset to focus more on the positives of our lives, then we will feel much more balanced and able to move forward.
3. The Tetris Effect
“When our brains get stuck in a pattern that focuses on stress, negativity, and failure, we set ourselves up to fail… We can retrain our brains to spot patterns of possibility rather than failure so that we can see and seize opportunity wherever we look.”
In an experiment, people were paid to play Tetris for hours, 3 days in a row. People then reported that they dreamt about blocks falling and being able to arrange them perfectly. They see likely opportunities to put the Tetris game into action like in bookcases, room furniture, etc.
This brought into light the idea that if we are always focusing on the downsides of our daily life, or by our previous crippling situations if we keep letting these circumstances and mishaps define us, we only fall into more problems.
This principle is basically a call to focus on the positive aspects of life because it is the only way for us to find more opportunities— opportunities that we’d likely miss and be blind to if we are only looking at the negative part of our life.
One of the basic things you need to know if you want to know coac is that you would need to teach your clients to use this happiness advantage principle. Most of the time as they are focusing on the imminent problems that they forget to look at the opportunities around them to learn and to solve their current dilemma.
4. Falling Up
This principle abides by the concept of the inevitability of struggles, mistakes, and failures in life because they are truly a part of the process towards success— they are called learning cures and building blocks to success. It is called ‘falling up’ you may be falling but you are actually making progress.
“Amid defeat, stress, and crisis, our brains map different paths to help us cope. We can find the mental path that not only leads us up out of failure or suffering but teaches us to be happier and more successful because of it.”
5. The Zorro Circle
Have you heard of the Legend of Zorro? Well, this sword-wielding gentleman started the story as a drunkard— only to find his full capabilities when he started undergoing training.
In his training, there is a small circle that his elder draws. This circle is where his elders only allow him to fight. So what’s the point of the Zorro circle?
The Zorro Circle is about discipline, focus, and being patient with the time it takes to master something and how important it is to be able to set manageable goals.
This coaching certificate program that I am in is like my very own Zorro circle which will teach me the things I need to become a life coach.
“When challenges loom and we get overwhelmed, our rational brains can get hijacked by emotions. We can regain control by focusing first on small, manageable goals, and then gradually expanding our circle to achieve bigger and bigger goals.”
6. The 20-Second Rule
This principle teaches about how we can learn and improve our habits. Habits are one of the hardest things to learn and unlearn. But this principle uses 20-seconds a day to combat the bad habits and hopefully we retain them in the long run and be an automatic response.
“Sustaining lasting change often feels impossible because our willpower is limited. And when willpower fails, we fall back on our old habits and succumb to the path of least resistance. We can make small energy adjustments, we can reroute the path of least resistance and replace bad habits with good ones.”
When negative thoughts enter, we have to train our minds to replace them with positive ones. We are what we repeatedly do; knowing something is good or bad for you will not make changing habits easier. We’d have to take combat our bad habits 20 seconds a day to make them go away.
7. Social Investment
“In the midst of challenges and stress, some people choose to hunker down and retreat within themselves. But, the most successful people invest in their friends, peers, and family members to propel themselves forward. This principle teaches us how to invest more in one of the greatest predictors of success and excellence – our social support network.”
The human mind does weird things under extreme pressure, stress, anxiety, or disappointment. We feel weak and the first thing the ego in all of us wants to do is act out, or walk away. This principle teaches us that these are the moments when we need our team and social support the most.
If we can create an environment of mutual trust and respect where individuals can come together amid challenges with no hesitation, we can have a much higher success rate in both our personal and professional lives.
Once we can adopt these principles into our own lives, we subconsciously spread the habits to those around us, thus creating an environment fine-tuned for fulfillment.
‘Theories’ of Success
Unlike Happiness, there are no formal theories of Success. Even just defining success is challenging. The dictionary defines success as: “The fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame.” However, this definition falls short in many ways. Success is much more than mere financial success because you must also feel successful in other areas of life such as love and relationships, health, and more. Steve Mueller, founder of the Planet of Success community wrote about his theory of success, which is the Iceberg Theory.
The Iceberg Theory of Sucess
Mueller believes that an iceberg is the best metaphor for a successful person because only a small part of it is visible above water, most of this big structure is hidden beneath the water— we only see a successful person’s achievement through their tangible achievements, the outcome, while their efforts, failures and other experiences remain hidden everyone’s view. Quoting Mueller, “The “Iceberg Theory of Success” helps us to realize that every famous or extraordinary successful person had to invest a lot of effort and work until this person achieved his goals. Having this in mind we can avoid having too high expectations towards an outcome that we want to achieve, but it also allows us to be more persistent, as we can clarify ourselves that we have to do whatever it takes to succeed.” This gives us a lesson, that whenever we are to look at a person’s success and learn from a person’s success we should not only look at the grand luxury that they have at the moment, we should remember that it took them a lot of mistakes, failures and invested a lot of hard work and effort. We should learn that success is not just about the tip of fame and wealth, most of the success is about the hustle and effort. Another ‘theory’ of success is discussed in the video below in a TEDx talk by Jesse Henry which is about using your own perspective, strategy, and ability to execute to find YOUR version of success.
Predictors of Success
Some things could predict your way to success. Did we believe that having the brains was the sure way to it right? But according to research, IQ is no longer the holy grail to success, it’s attitude and performance. Psychologist Carol Dweck study shows that people’s core attitudes fall into one of two categories: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. A fixed mindset has a belief that you are your person and you cannot change. This permanent sense of self creates problems when you’re challenged and when undergoing changes because anything that appears to be more than you can handle is bound to make you feel hopeless and overwhelmed. People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with effort. They outperform those with a fixed mindset, even when they have a lower IQ, because they embrace challenges, treating them as opportunities to learn something new. In the end, it truly is not the intelligence that gets you there but how you handle setbacks and challenges. People with a growth mindset welcome holdups with open arms
8 Scientifically-Backed Traits for Success
There are many commonly held ideas about how a person can surely achieve success, they say you gotta have willpower, phenomenal intelligence, inspiration, knowing the right people at the right time… but studies say otherwise. There are researches that concluded that even those prodigies who topped their class turned to become average adults. But here are some traits that are considered as predictors of success which are all backed by scientific researchers, you might want to check these out!
1. Ability to delay gratification.
You might have heard and known of the Marshmallow test by Walter Mischel (1972) which analyzed the delayed gratification skills of children. It was found that the children who succeded the Marshmallow Test also had success academically, were less prone to substance abuse, lower rates of obesity, were better at handling stress and social situations, and other life competencies late in their life. The impulse control they had as a child was a sign that they can hold off immediate gratification in pursuit of other, more important long-term successes.
2. Conscientiousness.
Studies showed that being meticulous has its benefits! Being super organized and responsible was found to have “staggeringly” high correlation rates with success. Studies have shown that conscientiousness impacts everything from a person’s salary to their job satisfaction, as well as their ability to find work and keep it, among other things.
3. Believing in free will.
A research by Baumeister found that when people lost their belief in free will or their capacity to choose, they also lost control of their lives, became less responsible, and acted more impulsively. But his study also showed those people who believed in fate more than free will were more likely to commit to cheating, aggression and be less kind to others. Free will was also found to lead to improved work performance and being more likely to overcome addiction. Who knew that even an ideology of free will was very important for success, right?
4. Having a wide network.
Having a wide network means knowing people from all walks of life, not just those who are of the same social circle or status you are in. It was found that there are negative long-term effects when you socialize only in a closed network. A wide network helps you be open and be exposed to new ideas while being kept in a closed network will only let you hear ideas you’ve heard before and will only reaffirm what you already know. Well, believe that this program for life coach certification was a great way for me to expand my network! Not only did I learn more about the career that I want to pursue but I also got in touch and knew people from different industries and yes, I guess I could say that it really did opened up my mind on the different perspectives and novel ideas that I wouldn’t have known or heard until I met them.
5. Enduring childhood adversity.
You might think adversity is an unlikely ingredient of success, but the thing is this is not always the case. This may be attributed to what they call the adversity quotient, which refers to how people respond to challenges. People who are primed to deal with adversity handle it better than others do and are also more motivated to exceed beyond their current circumstances. Why? Because people who are more content are typically more comfortable.
6. Avid reading.
People who love reading are found to be more intelligent, empathetic, and creative, as reading improves brain connectivity and functioning. Reading consistently, and helps you grow your inner capacity and exponential rates.
7. Past success.
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. But researches showed that success doesn’t outright breed success, but victories, no matter how small build confidence and momentum. Research by Rijt showed that “little boosts” at the beginning is important, and those who come from “very little” needs constant guidance and support as they make their way to success.
8. Grit.
“Grit” or perseverance can be regarded as mental strength. We have the notion that talent comes naturally and is innate but research shows that talent is real grit, and is wholly dependent on one’s practice of it. Dr. K. Anders Ericsson concluded from his studies. He found that innate talent can be matched by a deliberate effort to improve. Another way to put it is that grit is one’s willingness to be uncomfortable in pursuit of their goals, or to improve one current circumstance. It is simply one’s ability not to chase comfort, but to stay focused on the top of the mountain, and be willing to incur the occasional discomfort that comes with the ascent. Some people could coach naturally but as for me, I consider enrolling in this online coaching certificate program as a form of grit. I may not be a natural coach but I am determined to learn!
Happiness vs. Success
From the theories of happiness mention earlier in this article we may find that happiness is often subjective and difficult to measure. Success on the other hand is often judged externally through tangible things and or by comparison to other people.
Happiness is usually a personal attribute of an individual, success can be attributed to an individual or a whole group.
Which Is More Important?
We are now back to the first question in this article, which of these two do we pursue first.
Happiness is a goal that many people aspire to. Most people also have a strong desire to be successful in life and they tend to believe that through this success they will automatically become happier.
Even in my life coach certification program, it is with 100% certainty that we may never really know which of the two is more important, but what I’m very sure of is that the two are intricately linked.
So does it matter which you pursue first? The answer is no.
Which should you pursue first, success or happiness? recognize and savor each time you experience them— no matter how little your victories are.
