Learning About Imposter Syndrome

I have not heard of this imposter syndrome until I took a life coach training program. To best explain this syndrome the following are some examples of true experiences from people who are suffering or those who suffered from this syndrome.

“It’s hard for me to give thorough/complete updates during scrum because I feel like I haven’t accomplished much. My teammates are usually the ones to point out [that I have].”

“I tend to say yes to everything regardless of whether the work is feasible, timeline-wise, and workload-wise. It’s led to some 13-hour days at work because I’d bitten off more than I could chew.”

In This Article:
Imposter Syndrome
What is Imposter Syndrome
Causes of Imposter Syndrome
How to Beat Imposter Syndrome

Maybe you’ve once said or thought about “fake it ‘til you make it” and it’s totally normal and actually good— until you get that nagging feeling of being a fraud.

But before you continue you might like to consider our free worksheet on exploring “How To Beat Imposter Syndrom”. Please download this worksheet here.

Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is a thought pattern that makes you feel like you are not really deserving, capable, and knowledgeable, and experienced enough. There is doubt on your intelligence and talents that also makes you think that when people compliment you for your achievements, you either label them as just “being nice” or someone who has believed in the façade you are presenting. It is common with high achievers, the feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, and that’s the secret! If you feel like a fraud, chances are that you are more capable than you think BECAUSE real frauds don’t worry about this.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Impostor Syndrome is the overwhelming feeling that makes you feel like you don’t deserve your success; convincing you that you’re not as smart, witty, creative, or talented as you may seem. It is the suspicion (brought upon by yourself) that your achievements are merely due to luck, good timing or just being in the “right place at the right time.” And it is accompanied by the fear that, one day, you’ll be exposed as a fraud. Impostor Syndrome is associated with other feelings of self-doubt, such as:

• fear of success,
• fear of failure, or
• Self-sabotage.

But it’s not simply another symptom of low self-confidence or one’s exhibition of excessive humility. The identifying factor is that it involves a constant fear of disclosure, seclusion, and dismissal. Impostor Syndrome often strikes at moments of success: starting a new job, receiving an award or promotion, or taking on extra responsibility such as mentoring and coaching others, starting your own business, or becoming a first-time parent. Although these feelings can inspire you to work harder, to not have a “sense of being found out”. This leads to further success and recognition but also makes you feel like an even bigger fraud. But this can also lead to downshifting, or where you revise your goals and become less ambitious, and in turn, prevents you from reaching and knowing your true potential. I learned from our online coach certification program that there is this Dunning-Kruger Effect, where people of high ability often have a low awareness of their ability. However, that doesn’t mean that they all have Impostor Syndrome, which is as mentioned earlier is constantly accompanied by a dread of “discovery.”

Symptoms of Imposter Syndrome

It is personally difficult to recognize impostor syndrome, most of the time some people may accept that others have the syndrome but do not admit that they have it themselves. The case is that they believe that unlike others they are the real imposters and not just people who have the syndrome. However, I can share to you the following symptoms from our life coach training program to help you identify if you are really experiencing Impostor Syndrome.

• Having Feelings of Inadequacy and Self-Doubt

Impostor Syndrome expresses itself in an extreme lack of confidence. When you experience success you may find yourself thinking “I’m not worthy of this,” or “I don’t deserve this.” Most people suffer from a lack of self-confidence at some point in their lives, but the difference with Impostor Syndrome is that the feeling is constant and severe.

• Exhibiting Perfectionist Tendencies

Many people who experience Impostor Syndrome are most likely to be the perfectionist type. They set themselves excessively extraordinary goals and then feel embarrassment or frustration when they are unsuccessful. Perfectionists are never satisfied with their achievements and are most likely to be stuck focusing on their mistakes and failures. Even the best achievers can fall victim to this kind of thinking. For example, Katarina Johnson-Thompson, the 2019 World Heptathlon Champion. An interview by Sean Ingle related how she considers herself as not enough and just “half-decent” despite winning three major multi-event titles in 15 months – and is the headline act at the prestigious Hypo-Meeting in Götzis (an Austrian state). Although she aspires to reach her full potential she admits and is aware that she might be experiencing the imposter syndrome that although motivates her, makes her oblivious and unappreciative of how far she’s gone.

• Fearing Judgment and Discovery

Impostor Syndrome is characterized by a constant fear of “discovery.” Sufferers are constantly preoccupied with the fear that not only are they not good enough, but also that their colleagues and superiors are sure to find out – if in case they haven’t done so already. This dread can lead people with Impostor Syndrome to irrational extremes. They might push themselves to their limit to prevent “exposure,” yet somehow they DO NOT accept that their efforts have been good enough. This creates a vicious cycle of effort, discontent, and terror, which further damages their self-confidence.

Refusing to Own Your Success People with Impostor Syndrome seemingly downplay their successes. Most of the time, they will use negative self-talk to convince themselves that they don’t own their success. This self-talk often provides seemingly rational support for irrational ideas. One symptom is to label something they’ve done as “easy,” even if they’ve spent a lot of time and effort on it. For example, on completing a task successfully they may think, “Well, everybody could do this just as well or better.” And as a manager suggests that it was, indeed difficult, they may find excuses and ways to dismiss these comments. For example, they might think, “Well, I was just lucky and had a lot of help.” You might also believe that if you were to start over, you wouldn’t have the luck, talent, or skills to replicate your current success. Although there may be times that you will doubt your abilities this doesn’t automatically mean that you are suffering from Impostor Syndrome. Sometimes, things are really out of your depth! In these instances, it is important, to be honest to yourself and seek help than continuing to plug away with no prospect of success.

How to Beat Imposter Syndrome

Recognizing that you have Impostor Syndrome is often the hardest part. I almost did not want to accept that I too experience this up until it was brought up in our life coach training program. Most people believe that the alternative is to become boastful and have an abundance of self-importance, but this needn’t be the case. The following sections give you some tips to help you beat Impostor Syndrome.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step in overcoming Impostor Syndrome is to acknowledge what you’re feeling, and why. You can start by keeping a journal. Whenever you experience feelings of self-doubt or inadequacy, write them down, and explain why you’re feeling this way. Be as specific as possible about each situation. The chances are that when you write it out, you’ll see that you shouldn’t worry about the situation. For example, you might write, “I gave a presentation to the board, and although they said I did very well, I could see that they weren’t impressed by what I was saying.” If you reflect on what you’ve written, and on how the board members actually reacted, you’ll likely see that their response was sincere and that your fears were groundless. Next, use Cognitive Restructuring to counter negative thoughts with positive statements, and to come up with affirmations that neutralize those thoughts. Consider the successes you’ve had that have led to this moment. Clance and Imes recommend that you imagine yourself telling all the people you think you have fooled about how you tricked them. How would they respond? Most likely they would tell you that they didn’t give you a good grade, promotion, or award because you charmed them. They might even be annoyed that you doubt their professional judgment. Remember that while feelings are important, they are just feelings. So, feeling unqualified doesn’t mean you are unqualified. Be aware of the automatic thoughts and feelings you have, and work on countering those with reality-based statements, such as, “I am qualified for this task because….”

• Break the silence. Shame keeps a lot of people from “fessing up” about their fraudulent feelings. Knowing there’s a name for these feelings and that you are not alone can be tremendously freeing.

• Separate feelings from fact. There are times you’ll feel stupid. It happens to everyone from time to time. Realize that just because you may feel stupid, doesn’t mean you are.

• Recognize when you should feel fraudulent. A sense of belonging fosters confidence. If you’re the only or one of a few people in a meeting, classroom, field, or workplace who look or sound like you or are much older or younger, then it’s only natural you’d sometimes feel like you don’t totally fit in.

Plus if you’re the first woman, people of color, or person with a disability to achieve something in your world, e.g. first VP, astronaut, judge, supervisor, firefighter, honoree, etc. there’s that added pressure to represent your entire group. Instead of taking your self-doubt as a sign of your ineptness, recognize that it might be a normal response to being on the receiving end of social stereotypes about competence and intelligence.

2. Talk to Others

I learned to reach out and talk to people I trust through our tasks in the life coach training institute. You might be surprised by how many of your friends and colleagues can relate to how you feel. Listen to the people you respect in your life and let them show you how your fears are unfounded. In her book, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Valerie Young writes about the astonishment she felt when she discovered that her peers and mentors also had feelings of self-doubt: “To me, they were intelligent, articulate, and supremely competent individuals. To learn that even they felt like they were fooling others rocked my world.”

3. Develop a Quick Response Plan

Dealing with Impostor Syndrome takes long-term effort, but sometimes you need tactics to deal with it at particularly stressful moments. When the negative self-talk takes over, try to confront it by distancing yourself from the emotional power of the voice. You can do this by thinking of yourself in the third person. Instead of allowing yourself to think, “Why did I do that?” try thinking, “Why did they do that?” This will help you to gain a more objective, external perspective on your thoughts and feelings.

• You can also counter the tendency to think “I’m not good enough” by deciding to take more risks. This seems counterintuitive, but by taking calculated risks and succeeding, you can build a case against your inner critic. Avoid being reckless, though, as this can be self-sabotaging.

• Accentuate the positive. The good news is being a perfectionist means you care deeply about the quality of your work. The key is to continue to strive for excellence when it matters most, but don’t persevere over routine tasks and forgive yourself when the inevitable mistake happens.
• Develop a healthy response to failure and mistake making. Henry Ford once said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Instead of beating yourself up for falling short, do what players on the losing sports team do and glean the learning value from the loss, and move on reminding yourself, “I’ll get ’em next time.”

• Right the rules. If you’ve been operating under misguided rules like, “I should always know the answer,” or “Never ask for help” start asserting your rights. Recognize that you have just as much right as the next person to be wrong, have an off-day, or ask for assistance.

• Develop a new script. Become consciously aware of the conversation going on in your head when you’re in a situation that triggers your Impostor feelings. This is your internal script. Then instead of thinking, “Wait till they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” tell yourself “Everyone who starts something new feels off-base in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.” Instead of looking around the room and thinking, “Oh my God everyone here is brilliant…. and I’m not” go with “Wow, everyone here is brilliant – I’m really going to learn a lot!”

• Visualize success. Do what professional athletes do. Spend time beforehand picturing yourself making a successful presentation or calmly posing your question in class. It sure beats picturing impending disaster and will help with performance-related stress.

• Reward yourself. Break the cycle of continually seeking and then dismissing validation outside of yourself by learning to pat yourself on the back.

4. Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Build up your confidence by becoming more aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Conduct a Personal SWOT Analysis to discover what you’re best at, and to think about how you can minimize your weaknesses. Once you have a deeper understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, you won’t have to spend so much time worrying that you’re not qualified for certain tasks, projects, or roles. Develop a supportive network of people who can help you to appreciate the reality of your situation and counter your negative self-talk.

5. Overcome Perfectionism

Learn how to set yourself realistic, challenging, and achievable goals with our article on goal-setting mistakes, and accept honest failures as a part of life. Instead of seeing your mistakes as something to be ashamed of, treat them as learning experiences that will help you to perform even better next time. This was one of the hardest things to beat in our life coach training.

6. Own Your Successes

Often, people with Impostor Syndrome find it hard to accept compliments. When things go well, they attribute their success to external factors such as help from others, or good fortune. But when things go wrong, they blame themselves.

Try to develop a well-rounded, internal locus of control. If you believe that your life is shaped by your actions, choices, and decisions, you can take responsibility for your achievements, as well as your shortcomings, and make the most of them.

When you meet a goal or finish an important project, acknowledge that it was your skill and talent that made it happen. And celebrate it, too. It’s important to enjoy your success, so get into the habit of visualizing success in advance, so that you’re ready to welcome it when it happens.

Keep a record of positive feedback. Practice listening to praise, taking in the compliment, and drawing nourishment from it. Write down why your negative thoughts are false or meaningless and explain why you are qualified or worthy enough for this job. And, if you’re a manager, be sure to give praise where it’s due, and share positive narratives about successful team members.

“I almost talked myself out of taking a promotion because I didn’t think I deserved it/could do the new job.”

“This feeling makes me want to leave my current career and has made me contemplate going back to school and taking on a different job.”

“I don’t try so hard or contribute to group conversations as much. I feel very embarrassed. Even if I contribute an idea that is well received my heart rate goes up and I feel very warm (similar to when I feel panicky).”

“I question my knowledge of subjects well within my expertise to the point of deferring to the opinions of others who do not have my level of expertise. I often turn out to be right, but I question myself so much at the moment that I never assert that I know what I’m talking about. Those few times that I’m wrong to serve as proof that I don’t know anything.”

If you still experience the above sample situations or if you are in the face of something like it, feel free to go over and over the mentioned tips in this article from my life coach training. We can beat it! Or have you beaten it before? I would love to hear your story below!

Imposter syndrome is especially prevalent in biased, toxic culture that values individualism and overwork.

 

Ready to start your journey to self-empowerment? Download our How To Beat Imposter Syndrome Workbook for free here and take the first step toward reclaiming your confidence and success!